Surviving Infidelity

Surviving Infidelity

After the discovery of infidelity emotions run high and, generally speaking, a post- traumatic stress disorder syndrome is acquired. Symptoms of this PTSD syndrome include irritability, hostility, depression, anxiety, hyper-vigilance, suicidal ideation and homicidal ideation to name a few.


Causes Of Infidelity

An affair can happen in almost any marriage. The causes may include low self- esteem, lack of affection, addiction, or a lack of turning toward one another.

The affair can take the form of emotional and physical intimacy, deception,, or flirtation. Emotional affairs, generally speaking, can be just as damaging as physical affairs and should be treated in much the same manner.



After the initial shock of discovering an affair the spouses are often depressed, as in any major trauma. Whether the offended spouse wants to know the details of the infidelity or not, there will be a continual search for signs of ongoing betrayal and multiple proofs of trustworthiness will be needed to reassure the offended partner. In most cases of infidelity communication is a problem and there is also a need for additional work such as:

  • Understanding the foundation of your marriage and how that has influenced your relationship
  • Building awareness of your emotional and sexual feelings and needs by putting your feeling and needs into words
  • Confronting difficult lifestyle changes
  • Building Love Maps
  • Sharing Fondness and Admiration
  • Turning Towards
  • Managing Conflict
  • Making life dreams come true
  • Creating shared meaning

Many couples believe that recovering from infidelity is impossible. For some that may be true. However, in our experience we have seen many couples recover and go on to live out marriages that are more full and robust than they ever imagined.