Being ‘In love’
Have you ever seen a couple so in love it’s as if they have a “love glow” portraying off of them? These two feel excited and have very high dopamine and other happy hormones when they’re together. This relationship is full of lust and passion as the two forget about their jobs, school, and social life. Unfortunately, this season of their life doesn’t last and is almost impossible to hold on too forever. Essentially, the exciting beginning feelings tend to shift into attachment, security, and commitment. When these feelings take place, it’s usually a good sign to move into the next phase of your dating relationship and into starting a family together.
These progressed feelings of commitment and attachment are the basis in having a happy and long relationship with each other. These emotions, however, can create an obstacle to a healthy sex life. For some, the feeling of commitment and long-term relationships are a turn-off and boring. Especially as time goes on, couples identify more with each other and loose a lot of individuality as they intertwine. As their level of separateness diminishes so does their high level of intimacy.
Couples want to feel desired by their spouse and vice versa. This desirability and attraction is being in love, it just looks differently as time goes on. The reason affairs are more exciting is because as humans we get sick of routine and predictability.
Paradoxically, people want to be desired and to desire, but become afraid of loosing themselves as individuals. We have to remember what a marriage represents; Jesus and the church. He calls us to die to ourself and put our spouses needs and wants before our own. If God is the center of your relationship and you endure what he has called us to do within your marriage then you will successfully work it out. Through counseling, we can look into your marriage and help you re-kindle your love life through the word of God.